I don't know
That's what I say when I'm just too LAZY to think about ANYTHING.
Friday, April 25, 2008
hello mr/mrs/ms blog. i dunno ur gender so yea..
today is a day with gradient. it started of bad. but end up good. :)
i screwed up my english liao. and it's MYE. dammit. but i sud be happy that it's not o lvl. making a mistake now is far far far better den screwing up during the real "O" level. :D that's the only thing to be happy off.
my summary is written only 1/3 to 1/2 way through. and it's scribbled. cos i tot i got enough time so i did draft. but in the end... yea. some say maybe the marker kind den read the pencil written one. but the sad thing is that, i scribbled too with pencil. dammit._. its so horrible that i cant even really read it myself. and another factor which led to this failure is that i slotted in another sentence bcos i had only 130 words. we're suppose to write abt 150words. den i write in another sentence and the colour contrast is dam bad. i cant see my draft anymore. zzz... oh yea, and i keh kiang wan save the earth den dun wan use the extra paper. it could have been easier to rewrite and i could have finished in time. fuck. sian diao... zzz. boo to save the earth, dammit.
i'm sorry mr lim. if i had given u a bad attitude this morning. cos i was seriously dam pissed. cos it's english which is a must pass paper. i sincerely apologise for my bad attitude. :(
after the paper i was still pissed. den the rest of the class was dam jolly and happy. and i was like, "hello? i just screwed up the goddamn paper!" kns. it really wasn't a good feeling when ur getting the worst and ppl are still jolly. it's like someone's funeral den u go there laugh. like wtf? ppl just died, dammit. i know u all are not on purpose, but yea. the feeling SUCKS.
wad's worst is they started throwing paper ball. and dammit. it hit me. FUCK! i was on the verge to explode. i nearly wanted to give a thrashing. as in violent means. but i saw gordon. he was apologising and i tot he din mean to do that. he is a good fren, i sudn't do such a thing. so yea. i pushed the anger all the way down to the tummy. den i left the class. den go tm alone to eat den mayb study, though i totally wasnt in the mood. den 顺便 ponder abt where it went wrong.
noone came to comfort me, accept ginny. but well, she left in a hurry too. she tot i was emo-ing den just being concern. thanks anw. it helped. a little.
dammit. u din even tried to comfort me. like it's not ur problem. mayb yea. it's not really ur problem anw. but, the person i wanted to be concern is u. and u din even reply me. i was very sad. very very. i'm dissapointed. :(((((((((((((
somehow, after pondering for like 2,3 hrs. i felt slightly better. den i went bak to sch. teckyang was playing a guitar and he smiled at me. so i went over to him. den we chat a little and went to the detention corner there. den continue chatting and he lend me his rubik's cube and tot me a new formula. he kept saying that i would be fine. won't fail one. though i keep thinking that i will fail, but yea. somehow he persuaded me through it and i felt alot better. thanks alot teckyang. :)) this is wad i need. so as a way to thank him, i accompanied him to eat at tmart. frm this point onwards, i felt better, by alot. like the stormy clouds drifting away and it's sunny again. :)
nearly screwed up my hcl paper. but luckily didn't. cos i managed to finish in time. mayb left like 2mins or so. LUCKILY. :)
went to eat at 201 with chunaik, renwei, kinseng and gaoyang. den renwei treat us hum and stingray! wooh! hurray for renwei! :DD haha. and we joke quite abit so i felt much much better. no more emo teckli. :D
on the way to 201 gaoyang talked abt huijiao. u know, that china girl frm 4r1. yea, that one. the one alot of ppl like one. :XX haha. so bad. but well, the tcher said stop writing and she didn't. den the tcher scolded her. den she said sorry. then the tcher say, "u sudn't be sorry to me, u sud be sorry to the rest of the class. it's unfair to them and not me." this made me see the light. it's in a situational similiar to mine this morning. yea.. guess the tcher's right. i sudn't be so selfish. but well, again, 2mins makes a big diff. but yea... i sudn't be so selfish.
nth much to say now. i think i sud work harder and do better to make up for my english. but somehow, i don't feel like having exams.i'm just too tired frm all these mugging. haiz...
& thanks chengboon, for ur SS notes. :DD
Why are you not there when I need you so badly?
You just don't care or you don't wanna care?
Or you're scared you make things worst?