I don't know
That's what I say when I'm just too LAZY to think about ANYTHING.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
haha. for the sake of mr alan, i shall write abt today! :D
went to study at tampines library. alr decided that ytd night. mum bought prata for breakfast cos i requested it. :) forgot to bring my waranty card. so cannot send for repair today. :( that means gotta wait for the century square samsung shop to reopen after their renovations, which will b around june or so. :(
finished MYE '08 emaths paper 1, as requested by mrs pong. that's all. considered productive? i think it's quite okay. cos i havn decide to chiong for the time being.
read celestial zone 21century. chinese edition. until bk.. 10 i think. :/ godwin spammer/scanner. read finish all that the library has._. in just the few hrs. lols.
chankai's sweaty palm stinks ur stuffs! watch out! :P haha, but he's a nice person. :)
sorry chankai for making him go hungry for 7hrs. :( cos i lazy folo him go eat. :/ den he din go eat. stupid right? haha. ltr get gastric den not worth it liao.
went to beach after that with chankai. we walked the beach with bare foot, slippers on our hand. i saw flying fish! lols. it leaped out of the water den goes bak in, out and in, out and in again. in like around 1sec. :O too bad chankai din see. it's white. initially tot it was some stone/pebble/seashell someone threw, but forfeited the idea after thinking it was impossible, as the thing was flying toward me. lols and there's noone infront of me. so yea.
we settle down at another spot. hehe. there better, can now see sunset+ better view + lesser ppl. :D down we lay down on our bag and enjoy the sky. we saw through the gloomy clouds moving away to the other island, and the sunsetting into the horizon. or sud i say, coconut trees instead? :/ it was truly beautiful. mother nature is stunning. i wished u were there with me.
we sat dere till the night falls, till the moon rose to the sky, and the stars sparkled with pride in the dark blue sky. again, mother nature showed us another way she could prove herself stunning. the moonlight shone in the sea, making the waves carry the luminous light that relects into our eye and refracted onto our fovea. it's like a nvr ending supply of glitters floating on the sea, carried by the waves and dying on the shore. stunning, indeed. i wished u were with there with me, again.
天无不散之宴席, we left the beach at around 8pm. and headed for E!hub. we enjoyed the sea breeze as we walked through the park. and quite amazingly, we reached E!hub in around 11mins. D: i dunno why we went there. mayb cos chankai wanted to go there. when we reach there i asked him, "eh, why we come here uh?" chankai said, "enjoy the aircom lor." "..."
we went up and saw alan, jess, weiheng and jon. they were going to watch movie. :) they were kind enuf to jio me to watch with dem. but i turned dem down. sorry. :( den jess ask why we come here and all that. so i explained briefly, den alan said, "nvm lar. ltr go home can go his blog. the blog will tell in details." haha. :D and so, i'm "penning" it down. :)
ok. bye. i think i shall call it a day. :)
*spams enter*
i sat dere, silently. just to avoid being in between u guys. i felt being extra, being in the foursome and make it a five. it's makes it inproportionate. so i made myself scarce. i couldn't bear to make myself to listen to the laughters u all made. it jus makes it worst for me. i can nvr make u as happy as how u are with him. i'm not good enuf. i felt being left alone though i was with my frens. thinking that u'll b happy with someone else at somewhere else. optimistic thoughts jus doesnt wanna show itself to me. i tot last time, that i was indeed the extra one, playing the gooseberry. but, u told me i wasnt. i felt relieved. but now, i felt wad i felt last time, again. cos i jus feel im not good enuf. i couldnt bring u the happiness. so wad for of me clinging on? i told others not to b depressed, but i do it myself. i love you that's why i'm letting go. mayb it'll b better off this way. in the past, watching u frm afar is alr more than enuf to make me smile. but now, it doesnt feel the same. looking u laugh bcos of someone elsemakes my heart bleed. & i tot, i've bring nothing happy to u. evrytime i talked to u, i leaked out my feelings. bcos i want u to know how i felt. but instead, it makes it sounds phony. ur coolness jus makes my feeling goes bland-er each time. i jus wanna protect u. but u seem to keep me at a distance, making me feel like i'm like some baddie who's gonna harm u. issit wrong for me to feel assured that ur safe? i've been dancing around in ur palm. but i'm willing to do so. but now, i think i sud not, anymore. for i'm jus like any other human. not a clown. giving frm one side is always insufficient. so i should bid farewell. so that i'll not get hurt anymore. i wanna cry but the tears doesnt want to form, and to be rolled down my cheeks. too hurt, i guess. i looked at the moon. it shone brightly. and i realise, everytime i felt hurt by u, it would jus shine bringhtly. laughing at me, mayb. since i cant give u happiness, i might as well jus give up. i feel numb. and i dun wish to see u anymore. so that i would not get hurt, anymore. mayb i'm jus another person in ur world. but ur not in mine. i cant bear to let u go, but i have to. or i'll be obstructing ur life. ppl say we sud fight for our own happiness, but i guess, we sud let go if we truly loves him/her. i'm jus not good enuf. i really dun wish to say good bye.
I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?
It’s not right, not ok
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…